i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
