is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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