I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
