super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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