new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
