Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
