pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
