going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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