i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize