We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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