Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
