At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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