i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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