I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
