The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize