I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
