only if we run a train.
done.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
