they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
