these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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