His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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