That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
