Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
