i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
