Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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