my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My life is pants optional.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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