6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No...this little piggys going to the bar
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
