if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
