forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
