I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
