im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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