I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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