who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's never too late to be topless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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