And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
