If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
