Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
