Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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