Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i drank out of a bidet.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
