hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
