I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
