i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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