lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
