I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
