My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm at about main and main street
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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