that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
