The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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