ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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