Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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