y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize