At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
high people should be assigned attendants
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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