I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
