i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
