So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
