I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Houston, we have a blender
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
