Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
