i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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