was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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